By: Paige Smith
Is it really possible to have single friends after getting married? Some of us may have our doubts, but I’d love to share with you my story which I hope brings encouragement!
When I got married nearly three years ago it was such a joyful, exuberant day. We recited vows promising to love each other unconditionally and to keep this covenant forever.
With marriage came an exciting new adventure to do life with my husband and best friend. It also presented a new opportunity to relate to my single friends in a different way.
When life’s transitions come whether it be moving to a new place or marrying the one you love, maintaining strong friendships with your loved ones can seem daunting.
Questions can run through our minds like, How do we relate now? How do we include each other in our increasingly busy schedules? Are there topics that are off limits for discussion now? How do we balance time with our spouses and also make needed time with our friends we had even before marriage?
If you’ve ever wondered these questions as I have, I encourage you to continue reading as we explore how to relate to friends once married. With marriage brings a new season and new way to relate to friends. The good news is marriage can actually create a deeper bond between friends and create growth and maturity in the friendship!
There is nothing quite like a deep friendship. The laughs, the inside jokes, the shared experiences you both cherish.
I’m so fortunate that so many of my close friends since before and during college are still my closest friends today after marriage and starting life as a new mom.
Now our lives may look very different, but our love for one another remains the same!
A few things I’ve seen help grow and maintain our friendships and want to explore more myself is to:
-Focus on our similarities over our differences.
-Enter into their world whether it is school or work or hobby and share their excitement.
-Make a fun “girls time” for one another just to connect and reconnect even if it’s a simple outing for coffee or potluck dinner once a month.
-Open up about my “world” and share how I’m feeling and what I’m learnings, what’s challenging me and what is inspiring me, including them in my life.
-Pray for one another! As we pray for one another our bond and compassion and grace and honor for each others role in our lives only increases.
These tips have been so nourishing to my friendships and have helped show me that it is possible to have strong healthy relationships with single women even after marriage!
Solomon even reminds us in Proverbs that “iron sharpens iron” and again in Ecclesiastes that “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” (Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Even in marriage we need good friends. Friends that will sharpen us. Friends that will help lift us up when we’re down. Friends that will see the best in us. Friends we can laugh with. Friends we can cry with. Friends that become sisters who then become the adopted daughters to our mothers and later aunties to our children.
Friendships may look different in different seasons but we’ll never outgrow our need for our friends, in singleness, in courtship, in marriage, in motherhood, in our careers, we will always need the loving support of a true friend.
Here’s to having girlfriends for life!
We hope this article has encouraged you that it truly is possible to have deep bonds with your single friends even after major life transitions like marriage. Do you have any tips or questions on connecting with your girlfriends in different seasons? We value your input!
Blessings to you and your friends in every season!