The Secret to Satisfying Your Approval Need Revealed

Jade Lee {Podcast at Bottom}

Many times we are looking for a father to fill a deep void of approval in our hearts.  We may look to our natural father only to find that he is too busy or doesn’t know how to be the man that can meet our needs.  

We may look to other fatherly figures in our lives to mentor us and fill that void.  A measure of the Father’s love can be shown through these male figures GOD has placed in our lives.  They can be a schoolmaster, showing us a glimpse of the Father’s love, but there is a greater love we all can experience.

This became more real to me than ever before when I lost my senior pastor, who was more like a “spiritual grandfather” to me.  He was a very precious person in my life.  I wept for months on and off after his passing onto glory.

But a few weeks into mourning I was encountered with an amazing revelation from GOD.  It was early in the morning during my typical devotion time.  Open the Bible, grab a pen, a journal and get ready to dive into the Scriptures or listen for His gentle voice.

This time was different.

I tried to pray but only tears would come.  These tears were drops of prayers falling into the bottle of heaven, ready to be heard by GOD.  Then, in the midst of tears, my heart- aching in pain- the LORD led me to the following Scripture:

“A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, is GOD in His Holy habitation.  GOD sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.”  Psalm 68:5-6

I don’t know about you, but when I think of a Holy GOD in His holy habitation, the first thought that comes to my mind is not this gentle, sweet fatherly figure ready to comfort me in my pain.  I see this Humungous, Bigger than Life Hero of a King handling world matters.  I don’t instantly imagine this humble, kind sweet man willing to hear out the tenderness of my heart.

So when I read this, it caught my attention, to say the least.  It was one of those Aha Moments when you realize GOD is hearing more than your words.  He is listening to the aches of your heart beat.

I was solitary.

I was alone.

I was saddened.

And I was missing a father in my life.

But He was saying, He would give me something even bigger, better and more potent.  He would replace that void in my heart with His Fatherly tenderness.

Psalm 68 began to minister to my aching heart.  I knew that was GOD’s way of inviting me into a direct relationship with Him as my Father.  I needed this to be a complete woman.

And we can all have these bitter sweet life moments.  True, there is a real loss that comes with the lack of a natural father, but there is a greater sweetness that comes as we allow the reality of the Father’s love to touch our heart.  Our hearts may feel dead inside, empty or like we are missing that approval, but the Father has always been there waiting patiently for us to see His love.

All we have to do is ask Him to show us His love.  Then what do we see?  An eternal, everlasting lover of our souls.  This may take time to fully grasp but it will become more and more real as we dedicate our lives to receiving His love.

Jesus experienced this type of fatherly love.  This love caused Him to be very confident.  He had the Father’s Approval.  He knew that He was loved and Fathered not because of what He did, how well He preached or even His sacrificial death on calvary.  He was approved of and embraced for who He was.

This is the approval we all need from our Heavenly Father as we dig deeper into intimacy with Him.

Approval is “building up or affirming another person, particularly for “who” they are (as opposed to what they do).  It is also met by affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.” (Relational Impact, Dr. David Ferguson)

Because Jesus had a clear moment of approval (Fatherly blessing) in His life, He was able to stand in the midst of great rejection by others, confidently declaring who He is without shame.  He consistently fell back on the fact that He was accepted by the Father.  He was sure of His approval and acceptance by His dad, even though His birth may have been considered “illegitimate” by others.

Imagine a 26 year old Jesus, walking up to John the Baptist to be baptized.  John realizes this was not just any man, He was the Messiah and everyone else there would begin to see something different as well.  He is the Beloved Son.

Before Savior (Action) He is Son (Identity).

…and while He prayed, the heaven was opened.  And the Holy Spirit descended in bodily form like a dove upon Him, and a voice came from heaven which said, “You are My beloved Son; in You I am well pleased. Luke 3:21b-22, NKJV

In this place, Jesus’ identity is confirmed, affirmed and approved of, it is in His sonship that we can find sonship or daughtership as well.

We are now joint heirs with Christ!

Maybe you are realizing that approval has been missing in your life and you want it; you want to be receiving unconditionally, loved for who you are.

Here is a Special Approval Prayer you can pray over yourself throughout the day, write it down and come back to it in your Intimacy Moments:

“Daddy, Father GOD, I know that You love me, even when I do not feel it.  Yet I find a world of pain inside of me at times.  Other times, I am numbed by this world.  The rejection, the voids of my heart and the need for your love is a constant reminder that I am created to Be Loved.  Not only is Jesus your son, but I am your BeLoved Daughter.  I thank You that you say over me today, “This is my BeLoved daughter, in whom I am well pleased.  Heaven is over me, no longer in a distant way, but Your presence is on my life and You long to be with me.  Teach you, show me, mentor me and disciple me in Your Fatherly Love from this day forward.  In Jesus’ name, power and authority I come to you, no longer having to carry the weight or burden of coming on my own abilities.  In His name I pray, Amen.”

We have prayed this prayer and He has heard!

Are you excited to receive GOD as your Father on a daily basis?  Could you use a refresher in His Approving Love?  I’d love to hear a bit of how GOD is meeting your needs and growing your heart in love!

1 reply
  1. Amonie R.
    Amonie R. says:

    Right on target!
    Its like the prayer is literally being read off of the pages of my heart.
    I am so grateful that GOD lead me here to this specific blog, in this specific moment, on this beautiful day!
    This is such a blessing. Right on time!

    I am also very grateful for the recording/podcast. I was on the move today, so I didn’t have time to sit and read, but the podcast allowed me to still receive the word of the Lord.

    Thank you & God Bless You!


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