Why You’ll Always Need Girlfriends, even After the Wedding Day

By: Paige Smith

Is it really possible to have single friends after getting married? Some of us may have our doubts, but I’d love to share with you my story which I hope brings encouragement!

When I got married nearly three years ago it was such a joyful, exuberant day. We recited vows promising to love each other unconditionally and to keep this covenant forever.

With marriage came an exciting new adventure to do life with my husband and best friend. It also presented a new opportunity to relate to my single friends in a different way.

When life’s transitions come whether it be moving to a new place or marrying the one you love, maintaining strong friendships with your loved ones can seem daunting.

Questions can run through our minds like, How do we relate now? How do we include each other in our increasingly busy schedules? Are there topics that are off limits for discussion now? How do we balance time with our spouses and also make needed time with our friends we had even before marriage?

If you’ve ever wondered these questions as I have, I encourage you to continue reading as we explore how to relate to friends once married. With marriage brings a new season and new way to relate to friends. The good news is marriage can actually create a deeper bond between friends and create growth and maturity in the friendship!

There is nothing quite like a deep friendship. The laughs, the inside jokes, the shared experiences you both cherish.

I’m so fortunate that so many of my close friends since before and during college are still my closest friends today after marriage and starting life as a new mom.

Now our lives may look very different, but our love for one another remains the same!

A few things I’ve seen help grow and maintain our friendships and want to explore more myself is to:

-Focus on our similarities over our differences.
-Enter into their world whether it is school or work or hobby and share their excitement.
-Make a fun “girls time” for one another just to connect and reconnect even if it’s a simple outing for coffee or potluck dinner once a month.
-Open up about my “world” and share how I’m feeling and what I’m learnings, what’s challenging me and what is inspiring me, including them in my life.
-Pray for one another! As we pray for one another our bond and compassion and grace and honor for each others role in our lives only increases.

These tips have been so nourishing to my friendships and have helped show me that it is possible to have strong healthy relationships with single women even after marriage!

Solomon even reminds us in Proverbs that “iron sharpens iron” and again in Ecclesiastes that “Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up.” (Proverbs 27:17; Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:9-10).

Even in marriage we need good friends. Friends that will sharpen us. Friends that will help lift us up when we’re down. Friends that will see the best in us. Friends we can laugh with. Friends we can cry with. Friends that become sisters who then become the adopted daughters to our mothers and later aunties to our children.

Friendships may look different in different seasons but we’ll never outgrow our need for our friends, in singleness, in courtship, in marriage, in motherhood, in our careers, we will always need the loving support of a true friend.

Here’s to having girlfriends for life!

We hope this article has encouraged you that it truly is possible to have deep bonds with your single friends even after major life transitions like marriage. Do you have any tips or questions on connecting with your girlfriends in different seasons? We value your input!

Blessings to you and your friends in every season!

JLO Academy9

Which Books of the Bible for What Life Issues?

Learn how to break down books for each area of your life and to get a holistic view of the entire Bible. 

If you would like a basic teaching on How to Study the Bible you may want to reference the blog I wrote on this topic before reading this article.

Sometimes we go to our prayer times, get out our Bible, journal, a pen and maybe some worship music.  Some of us begin to sit quietly, others pray loudly, others listen for God’s leading.  But so often we do not really know where to begin if we are honest with ourselves!  Which books of the Bible do we use for what?

This is Pt 2 of a Series on How to Study the Bible.

I remember when I first rededicated my life to Jesus, I was so full of the Word actually because I grew up in very strong Bible teaching churches.  I grew up in a “Bible study family.”  We were going to go to church every single Sunday (which I LOVED).  And…we were going to talk about what I personally learned in church.

I remember vividly the trips home from church services as a five year old, my parents in the front seat, they seemed so huge back then, asking me the familiar question, “What did you learn in church today?”

And learn I did, because we paid attention.  I am so thankful my parents had a great expectation of his, they had faith in the fact that we could learn at a young age.  Church was fun, it was exciting, it was where I heard amazing Bible stories. 

And I loved stories.

I was a little writer bubbling over with the desire to read more and more and more.

Those stories have never left me.  Some of them I have now written in an adult perspective for women.  They are the stories that have guided my life values.  These women (and men) of the Bible are my greatest heroes and are intertwined in the fabric of my identity.

They are threaded in my life foundation.  They lead the way I think, the way I see the world (Christian worldview), the way I relate to my peers and leaders.  And they can never be taken from me.

I am blessed.

As a member of the Millennial Generation (1981-2000) I am one of only 4% of young adults my age who actually attend church.  And that is directly attributed to my Personal Understanding of the Biblical Truths I was taught.

That question, “What did you learn in church today?” made my faith, My Faith, not my parents faith- at a young age.  And My Faith was personal.  My Faith was meaningful.  My Faith was truth.  My Faith was understood when I gave my tiny heart to Jesus at four years of age.

It was real when I prayed a prayer asking Jesus to show me where my little lost glasses were as an elementary child.  And He did.

Of course, the expression of my faith has evolved over the years to more “mature” conveyances, but the foundation is and always will be a deep, rich Biblical legacy.

How Do You Study the Bible?

My profession or calling is to help other Millennials, some who were raised on this same foundation, but many who did not have a Biblical church upbringing to grow in their own personal love for Scriptural truth.  In essence, I am called to ask over and over again the resounding question, “What did you learn in church today?”  This question can be translated, “What did you learn from the Bible today?”

And it is my joy to see them answer that personal question on each one of their unique experiences.

Like my parents, my eyes light up as I express another viewpoint of the same text and watch them grow!

As this is occurring I wholeheartedly believe in the tools I received and want to share them with you.  They are tested and proven tools you will grow to love.

The Bible Bookshelf

Bible Bookshelf

The Bible Bookshelf is a symbolic bookshelf dividing the Bible into sections by type.  As you can see to the left, there are the following types of books: Law, History, Wisdom, Major Prophets, Minor Prophets, Gospels, History, Letters of Paul to Churches, Letters of Paul to Individuals, General Letters and Apocalyptic books.

In your personal Bible study, this shelf will help you have a greater understanding of how the Bible made up as a whole.  Then you will be better prepared to know which books to reference on an experiential level (when you are encountering different life experiences). 

It is also important to understand that the Bible is not written in a chronological order.  Therefore, some Bible book authors were living many years apart but their messages are found many books later in the Bible. 

For example, 1 Samuel 20 and Psalm 59 were written in the same year, 1013 BC.  But the book Psalms is 10 books apart from the book 1 Samuel.  Also, different Psalms were written in different time periods.  Psalm 60 was written 15 years after Psalm 59.  And Psalm 63 was written 41 years after Psalm 59.

Fortunately, we do not have to guess when the books of the Bible were written.  There are free resources where we can get a timeline of the entire Bible.

Bible Timeline2

The Bible Timeline will help you see visually how the entire Bible is laid out in real time or the chronological order of the Books of the Bible. The Old Testament points towards Christ. The New Testament looks back to Christ. And Biblical Prophesy tells us what is going to occur.

Now that we understand how to study the Bible and how the Bible is chronologically setup, we can begin to dig into the types or genres of the books of the Bible.

I personally love genres because of my English major background so please bear with me as the nerd in me comes out!

The Bible is made up of 66 separate books (with different authors) over the time span of 1500 years.  These books create a library having varying subtopics.  These genres are:

The Law Books- The Law Books, Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy reveal more about the God created legal system for the Jewish people of the Old Testament.  They help us learn more about this people’s government by answering questions like:

  • “What were the moral laws” or the “matters of behavior” during Biblical times?  See Exodus 20
  • What were the social and state laws? See Leviticus 25:13
  • What were the domestic laws and matters of hygiene?  See Leviticus 12
  • What were the religious laws?  See Leviticus 1-7
  • What were the laws on worship and sacrifice?  See Leviticus 1-7
  • What were the blessings and curses?  See Deuteronomy 28 (Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible, 59)

It is important to remember that these were the Laws God gave to Moses on how He wanted His Chosen people (the Jews) to live their daily lives.  If you want to know the details of the Jew’s lifestyle the Law books will help bring you contextual understanding.

The History Books- The History Books, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 Samuel, 2 Samuel, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 1 Chronicles, 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah and Esther reveal more about what actually happened in the storyline of God’s people, the Jews. 

Webster’s defines history as “a chronological record of significant events (as affecting a nation or institution) often including an explanation of their causes.”  That’s exactly what the history books do- they tell the history of a nation, the Israelites.  They include explanations of their causes.

As we read the Bible, we must remember that these are true stories of people who lived on the same planet Earth as we live on, these are not fictional figures made for our entertainment.

The History Books help us learn more about what actually occurred by answering questions like:

  • What was the historical background to the passage?  See Ezra 1:1
  • What actually happened?  Who were the people involved?  See Luke 2:1-2; 3:1-2
  • Where did it happen?  See Nehemiah 1
  • Often material was selected to make a point: is there one stated or implied?  Judges 6:1, 7, 8 (Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible, 59)

The Wisdom or Poetry Books– The Wisdom or Poetry Books bring the drama of the Bible to life, imagine various characters in a play or novel.  It is interesting how these different genres of the Bible relate to different types of people with various interests or personalities.  Creative tend to feel a profound connection to the poetry books of the Bible.

Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and the Song of Solomon reveal the characters, giving us a microscopic visual of their deepest emotions and thoughts.  When we read them we can ask the questions:

  • Is it a drama with characters, as in a play?  See Job
  • Or poetry, expressing one person’s feelings which we can share?  See Psalm 42, 29, 68
  • Is it highly symbolical?  Is the language from the worship or history of Israel?  If so, what is referred to?  See Psalms 77, 78, 79
  • Is there a historical setting which will help us understand the poem?  Or was it writtenf or use in Israel’s worship?  See Judges 4-5
  • Is there repetition or contrast for poetic effect?  See Proverbs 10:11 (Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible, 59)

The Prophetic Books- There are Major and Minor prophetic books, considered so because of the length not the importance of the books.  The Major Prophetic Books are Isaiah, Jeremiah, Lamentations, Ezekiel, and Daniel.  The Minor Prophetic Books are Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah, Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi.

These books were written by the Old Testament prophets.  Some consider Revelation one of these books as well, but Revelation can also be in it’s own category as an Apocalyptic (End Times) book.

They reveal prophecy (God’s direct word for the nation(s), people and speaking into particular situations).

These books also include Messianic prophecy, predicting specific attributes of the Messiah, what He would accomplish, down to how he would physically look (See Isaiah 53).  It is incredible how specific and accurate these prophecies were.  When we read them we can ask the questions:

  • What was the historical background?  See Daniel 1:1
  • Is it written in poetic form?  See Isaiah 36:22-29
  • Is the language highly symbolical?  If so, what is the imagery taken from?  See Daniel 7
  • What was the original purpose of the prophecy in its time?  What is the universal principle involved?  See Isaiah 30:1-5
  • Are there specific claims to its fulfillment in the New Testament?  See Isaiah 53; Acts 8 (Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible, 59)

Next week we will explore the New Testament section of the Bible bookshelf.  This review should help you begin to understand the Bible on a broader level so you can take it to a deeper level.

Resources used in this article:

Each section of questions was taken from Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible, pg. 58

Merriam Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Tenth Edition

For Part 1 of this series go here:

Do you have any questions or tips on how to Study the Bible?  Please use the Comments Section to add your valued input!





In Light of Recent Shootings How do we Heal?

My Condolences to the Loved Ones of our Recent Losses

This article is written in light of recent shootings including the deaths of Philando Castile, Alton B. Sterling, and of deeply cared for Dallas police officers, Lorne Ahrens, Michael Smith, Michael Krol, Patrick Zamarripa, and Brent Thompson- who have been assigned to serve local American communities.  All of these men were a group of fathers, husbands and sons to caring family members. 

I send my heartfelt affections, words of comfort and mourning for these unacceptable deaths.

It is important that we take the time to grieve these losses and seek to understand those in pain from every angle.  While doing so, it is also vital that we ask the strenuous questions needed to gain thorough healing to the racial wounding we are now experiencing.

Whether one believes these deaths are due to racism or simply another police altercation, it is important to understand why some African Americans may feel deep pain centered around subliminal systematic prejudices.  If you have an interest in gaining a glimpse into this perspective then continue to read this article…

The Root of Racial Tensions

We are clearly in a moment of racial tension in our nation, but this is not a new tension.  Many are calling it a new sort of racial “Civil War” but it does not have to be so.  We are dealing with a buried cancerous seeping wound that we, many times, have chosen not to address because of discomfort.  It is a hidden, covert vice that we have been bound to for hundreds of years.

This vice is being unveiled by the gracious hand of God.  We are now seeing what was always there.  And this is a step towards needed surgery, healing that can only come from the Greatest Surgeon’s hand, tenderly taking our wounded hearts, our stiffened minds and our confused souls into His alleviating, supple, lucid way. 

“This is the way” He whispers to our longing ears, “walk in it.”

This is a test. 

An open book test.

A test we have taken many times.

A test we have done well in and a test we have failed.

Are there underlining factors that we are avoiding facing?

All the more, it is a test we cannot pass until we are willing to study our past.  And oh, what a past we must examine.  The reality is that it is a shameful, difficult, painful, emotional past.

It is a past we would much rather cover up, hide away, and pretend like never happened.

But when we ignore it, this past of ours, the American people, we find ourselves in a worsened state.

The fact of the matter is the soul of America is now 240 years old and was established with some moral wrongs intertwined, in the deep rooted foundation of our nation.  In 1619, we hosted a crew of Middle Passage slaves from the coast of Africa to the beloved colony, Jamestown, Virginia.  This was 157 years before we established our separate identity and independence from Britain.

Democracy was established, it was birthed for all except the African slaves.  They did not choose this New World and it was not a prosperous, sought after experience for the bound and shackled.  It was more like a nightmare come to life, all was suddenly taken, they were forced into quarters with people so strange some thought they were living in the Underworld.

In the year 1776, July 4th of 1776 to be exact, we experienced the birthing of this nation.  A few days past (in 2016) we celebrated this heroic day and rightfully so, but have we forgotten the plight of these people?  It is hard.  The stories are gut-wrenching.  The truth is too difficult to face but the consequences of ignoring this bygone era has proven to be fatal.

We must understand that our olden days deeply affect us, they explain how we arrived to where we are and it is a beautiful story even with all it’s many ascensions and descensions.

The truth is too difficult to face by the consequences of ignoring this bygone era has proven to be fatal.

In many ways, we are all products of Mother America.  America’s 240 year old soul has experienced a great deal of trauma.  That trauma is affecting our ability to “get along” today but our lack of education around why these emotions are so strong, why we are facing such a “misunderstanding” is causing a great deal of suffering.

This must be rectified.

The Danger of Blaming the Victimized

Many would say that blacks have to take responsibility for their own actions, it’s been hundreds of years and they cannot pull the “race card” or bring up slavery in 2016.

Even blacks may feel they have to separate themselves from this painful past and move on in reconciliation.

But if we do this too quickly, as we have done in the past, we will never deal with the issue at hand.  We will skim over it from both angles in an attempt to move on…

For many years, blacks have been expected to cross the line between forgiveness and self-hatred.  Forgiveness is good.  It is Biblical.  It is necesssary.  It is Christian.  And it should never be done away with; yet we are provided with a boundary line.

We have to understand when our forgiveness, especially with a past of systematic victimization has become painfully abusive to the oppressed party involved.

For us, this is not a matter of forgiveness.  This is a matter of not allowing our good to be spoken of as evil.  We should not allow our good to be slandered.

Understanding The Historical Factor

We have to understand that when an entire people group has experienced dehumanization, when ex-slaves such as Sojourner Truth or Harriet Jacobs saw their masters as gods because they could not mentally process such abuse with a Sovereign God’s leadership of earthly matters…we do not need to place the blame on this people.

We are in need of healing.  And this healing must occur from the place of empathy.  We are in need of renewed confidence.  We are in need of seeing ourselves as worth being treated in all aspects of life (emotional, spiritual, physical, civil) on the same playing ground.

Because we are human.  We are your brothers and we are your sisters.

There are subliminal ways that we have yet to receive the basic rights given to someone of other privilege.  And the color of one’s skin, rather than the content of their character, should never be the determining factor regarding how they are treated.

Responding to the Crisis in Love

There is a way to respond in humility, in love, in graciousness, and in the Spirit…removing the fleshly responses or violent ways we may have seen in others recently.  There is a way to respond in gentle love yet resolved dedication to our rights.

And that is what we will do as the people of the United States of America. 

We will take the time to understand the plight of our brothers.  We will humbly repent without sympathy (feeling sorry for someone else’s trouble, grief or misfortune).  Because sympathy is not true love.  It is why many times we feel like others are belittling us, looking down on us poor African or African American peoples due to our lesser lot in life. 

Rather, we are going to look to one another on level playing ground asking the hard questions, “What would it be like if my forefathers had to fight to be married?  Fight to be considered a human?  Fight to have basic rights such as voting, protecting their wives and children from sexual exploitation and walking into the same building as another?  What would it be like if generations of people, my people, my forefathers had to rise above all of that mistreatment?  What would it be like if I had to live in a world where my skin color alone caused others to talk down to me or treat me as if I “may be” a criminal?  What would it be like if every time I tried to pastor or move into a neighborhood where I was the minority people whispered concerns or gave me strange looks all because I am different?  What would that world be like?”

We as the American people need to ask these questions because if we don’t we will continue to see this cancerous disease begin to touch our own homes in some way, shape or form.  We cannot continue to turn a deaf ear or blind eye.  And yes, we must forgive.  We must be non violent.  We must be meek.

While finally talking about the eruptive 397 year old wound beneath the surface of our everyday lives.

So we the American people must rise to the decorum of the occasion with a heart of empathy (the feeling that you understand and share in another person’s experiences or emotions) if we want this disruption to finally be healed.

Written in Genuine Peace, Concern, and Prayer for all the lives of those we have lost at a time in history we so longed to celebrate the Foundation of Democracy and Freedom.  Instead we were faced with an unwelcomed death toll.  May our redemptive history be the story of our future.


Jade Lee

Writer, Speaker and Indebted Descendant of our Beloved Harriet Tubman

9 July 2016

jlo blog13

How to Study the Bible

One of my favorite activities is prayer and studying the Bible, but this took about 13 years to develop

From my desk: My personal Tyndale Bible Dictionary. Of great use when referencing Biblical topics of interest.

From my desk: My personal Tyndale Bible Dictionary. Of great use when referencing Biblical topics of interest.

and cultivate! I want to share with you some of the joys I have found and the secret to keeping your relationship with GOD thriving, even in the mundane.

For many I have talked to prayer and reading the Word of GOD (the Bible) is very difficult, not because they cannot understand it alone but because they fall asleep, get bored and do not always know where to begin.

If you feel this way as well, it is not because you are not as spiritual as another or something is wrong with you; it is because prayer & the study of GOD’s Word is an art.

Allow me to show you how to become an amazing Bible scholar, find topics relating to your current situation and encounter GOD in a personal way.

First, you will need a few tools, but no worries at all- many of these tools you can find for free online or at a low cost on sale in a Christian bookstore (both Lifeway Christian Bookstores or Family Christian Bookstores are great chains).

From my desk: a few essentials in my Bible study repertoire. Found to be both tried and true!

From my desk: a few essentials in my Bible study repertoire. Found to be both tried and true!

Your Bible Study toolbox should include (but is not limited to):

  1. A Great Study Bible. I personally enjoy the Nelson’s Study Bible in the King James or New King James Version. If you are new to this, there are many versions of the Bible. Some are even written in modern language to help us understand terminology. I will write another post on these versions so stay tuned.
  2. A Strong’s Concordance. I absolutely LOVE studying the Bible using a concordance. It is a
    From my desk: My personal Strong's Concordance is an essential piece of my valued collection.  Needed in almost any thorough Bible study.

    From my desk: My personal Strong’s Concordance is an essential piece of my valued collection. Needed in almost any thorough Bible study.

    classic edition and essential to your studies in no small part because of it’s extensive list of words in the Bible. These words are provided in both the Hebrew/Aramaic (Old Testament) and the Greek (New Testament). It can be used similar to a dictionary- search a word and you will find many other instances the same original word appeared throughout the Bible. This will help you compare the ways GOD uses this word in various situations. I always encourage people to note the first occurrence of a word remembering the beginning of a mention is usually related to its root. Also, please remember to use this Bible Study help in avoiding reading a Scripture out of context (more on that later).

  3. A Bible Dictionary- Use this as you would an Encyclopedia. It is a reference tool to learn more about the historical context of topics, people, places and artifacts of the Bible. One can
    From my desk: My personal Tyndale Bible Dictionary.  Of great use when referencing Biblical topics of interest.

    From my desk: My personal Tyndale Bible Dictionary. Of great use when referencing Biblical topics of interest.

    commonly find marvelous informational jewels when delving into a Bible Dictionary. Allow me to provide an example of how to utilize this tool- You are studying the Book of Esther (one of my favorite books of the Bible) and you come across the mention of a man named King Ahaseurus.

In your study you open your Bible Dictionary to “Ahasueurus” finding incredible information about his kingdom and role.


You have now been enlightened on one of the personages in your historical backdrop.

A visual of King Ahasuerus' name within the Tyndale Bible Dictionary.

A visual of King Ahasuerus’ name within the Tyndale Bible Dictionary.

You then long to know more about his kingdom, which is provided for you using a search on the words “Persia” or “Media.”

A search of the location Persia in the Tyndale Bible Dictionary.

A search of the location Persia in the Tyndale Bible Dictionary.

Your search will yield information regarding Persia such as her geography, climate, history and other mentions in the Bible. This helps you understand who King Ahasuerus was on a worldwide scale, increasing your appreciation for Esther’s positioning. A Bible Dictionary can be used as a thread connecting people, locations and contemporaries throughout the Bible.

4. A Bible Handbook- In my personal study, I use the Ferdmans’ Handbook to the Bible, which has proven to be a wonderful resource for a quick cultural, historical and thematic backdrop of both the Old and New Testaments. Part One is dedicated to an overview of the Bible for basic Bible students. It even includes a Bible Bookshelf, which I will write about in a later post. It also relates the Bible to other types of religious books and provides a brief timeline of various versions. Part Two explores the books of the Bible separated into sections based on the types of books (I.e. Historical, poetic, prophetic, etc).

This is very helpful in understanding dates different books were written and which writers were alive in

From my desk: Ferdman's Handbook of the Bible is a reliable wealth of quick natured information for the rightly divided student.

From my desk: Ferdman’s Handbook of the Bible is a reliable wealth of quick natured information for the rightly divided student.

specific time periods. You may also use this to conduct a brief study on an entire book of the Bible by searching the book name.

5. The Vine’s Concise Dictionary of the Bible- This resource is especially helpful in understand the original meaning of particular words in your text. It “combines in one handy volume condensed versions of W.E. Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words and Nelson’s Expository Dictionary of the Old Testament by Nerill Unger and William White, Jr.” (Introduction to Vines). I would highly encourage you to purchase one of these as a handy tool you will reference constantly. It will help you avoid misinterpretation of Scriptures by a hasty understanding based on modern English. The English language is by far less detailed than the Greek or Hebrew. For example, for our one word “love” in English, there are various forms of the word “love” in Greek. This source will aid you in discovering the original meaning of the word and how the Hebrews would have understood it contextually.
These tools should help you begin your studies, but there are many more. In fact, there are a few free internet sources you can utilize when unable to obtain the books above or in a hurry:

  1. The Online Jewish Encyclopedia– Another phenomenal way to understand the Bible is to study the people of the Bible, whom are primarily Jewish. This source will aid you in researching how they view different aspects of life and Biblical truth.
  2.– This resource will aid you in studying words in the Bible when using the KJV with Strong’s feature. It is much like the Strong’s Concordance aforementioned and the vines Concise Dictionary. It fact, it’s interactive features warrants one to engage the meaning of words simultaneously to reading passages.
  3.– This is an online hub of the Bible in various versions. Use to find a Scripture in many different versions. It also includes articles and other valuable Bible studies.
  4.– I use this as a constant way to quickly cross reference (see other Scriptures that are relatable to the one I am studying) and see Scriptures in varying versions at a glance.

With these sources in your quiet time, you will soon find yourself running out of time due to the wealth of information and increased depth of your studies. The Bible will begin to come to life and you will no longer fall asleep so easily, in fact, you just may wake up early to do more searching!

Grab your new Study Bible, a valued journal and start with prayer. Then get ready for fascinating discoveries within the rich content of the Scriptures.

I look forward to sharing with you next week in Part 2: How to Develop a Strong Relationship with GOD through Prayer!

If you know of any other resources pertaining to studying the Bible, and I’m sure you do because there are Many, please share with others in the Comments section of this post. I know you will have marvelous tips and I’m thrilled to light a spark in the embers of your walk with GOD.

jlo office

A Quick Self Esteem Boost

By Paige Smith


According to Real Girls, Real Pressure: National Report on the State of Self-Esteem, Dove Self-Esteem Fund, 7 in 10 girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with family and friends.

According to this study, 70% of girls are dealing with low self-esteem. That means 70% of girls desire boldness and confidence.

There is an undeniable attack against the self-esteem of women in our society. The Dove Campaign also found that 92% of women want to change something about the way they look.

Most women want to be confident, want to love who they are and how they look, but believe they will only feel that unshakeable confidence once they change something about themselves.

But what if God wants us to feel that self-assurance and peace about ourselves right now, in the midst of our imperfections and shortcomings?

God is our Heavenly Father and He sees us as His beautiful daughters. When we only see our “darkness” and our frailties, like the Shulamite woman in Song of Solomon, God sees our beauty and declares it proudly:

“Behold, you are beautiful, my love! Behold, you are beautiful! You have dove’s eyes” (Song of Solomon 1:15).

You may feel like the Shulamite woman today, so conscious of your own darkness and how you daily make mistakes, yet there was hope for her and there is hope for you.

She begins her journey unsure of herself, doubtful of her own beauty, and desperate to be loved. By the last chapter of Song of Solomon, she is confident in her Beloved’s love for her:

“I am my beloved’s, And his desire is towards me” (Song of Solomon 7:10)

She has not changed, but her perspective of who she is has drastically been altered.

She boldly declares, “I am my beloved’s”

Not only does she know she belongs to her Beloved, but she knows He returns her affections,

“And his desire is towards me.”

Today know that you are deeply and irrevocably loved by your Heavenly Father. You are His daughter and He adores you!

He sings over you, He rejoices over you, and His banner over you is LOVE!

Its clear that women all over are longing to feel confident, to walk in boldness, and to love who they are! It doesn’t begin with a pair of stiletto heels or the perfect profile picture. It begins with a fresh revelation of how much you are loved.

Allow the truth of your Father’s love to penetrate your heart in a new way today and speak those truths back to Him. It will produce a true confidence and boldness rooted in the only unchanging variable that exists, His love.

7 Biblical truths on the Father’s love for us:

  1. We are valuable to God. (Matthew 6:26)
  2. We are God’s children. (Romans 8:15-16)
  3. God has prepared a place for us. (John 14:1-2)
  4. Our Father in heaven gives good gifts to those who ask Him. (Matthew 7:9-11)
  5. God doesn’t want to lose any of His children, and will seek out any that are lost. (Matthew 18:12-14)
  6. God is kind and merciful towards us. (Luke 6:36-37)
  7. God lavishes His love on us! (1 John 3:1)

We pray this article has been empowered you with a boldness that comes from knowing you are a Beloved Daughter of The King!

Are there any Scriptures you have used to help yourself or others gain a stronger self esteem?  We’d love to hear from you in the comments section so we can encourage one another!

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You Don’t Deserve My Time of the Day: How to Honor when there’s been Deep Hurt

Father’s Day has just passed and with it a myriad of varied emotions for many of us. For some the day brought joy and excitement as we reflected on tender moments from childhood with our dads from being twirled around in their arms to seeing them in the audience cheering us on in little league games or recitals.

For others the day was a painful reminder of the absence of shortcomings of our fathers in the past or present, we instead reflected on phone calls not sent and birthdays missed. Still for others it could have been a bittersweet mingling of the two extremes.

The call to “honor our mother and father” might have either been a welcome reminder, or a seemingly overwhelming demand.

This post is for those of us who may have struggled with honoring their father or mother not just on the recent holiday, but in general. It is our prayer that we would receive healing from the pain that can come from negative experiences with our parents, and be empowered through God’s love to honor them.

Many of us know the scripture that instructs us to “Honor your father and mother so that you’ll live a long time in the land that God, your God, is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).  It’s a beautiful concept.

It speaks of a unique promise our Heavenly Father makes to us to give us a long life in a land He’s given us when we honor our parents. Yet it can also seem daunting for those who may have a strained or complicated relationship with their parents.

Honor is defined as “respect given to someone who is admired” ( and “to hold in high respect” (

But where do we begin when we don’t carry that esteem and respect in our hearts due to painful situations instead harboring disappointment, anger, and possibly even unforgiveness?

I submit to you John 15. Jesus tells his followers to “remain in Him” so that they can bear fruit in their lives:

“Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me” (John 15:4).

We cannot manufacture honor within ourselves, we need the grace and empowering of the Holy Spirit. God wants to pour out His love and honor on you today. He knows that we are frail, we are from dust, and cannot do anything unless we remain in Him.

Here are 7 key things to remember in beginning to honor our parents:

1. Begin with receiving God’s honor for YOU! God esteems and honors you so highly he has seated you in heavenly places and adorns you in “robes of righteousness” and “garments of salvation” (Isaiah 61:10)

2. Know that only God mourns with you for every disappointment or trial you’ve experienced including those your parents may have brought upon you knowingly or unknowingly. He validates your emotions and wants to heal every wound and give you “beauty for your ashes” and “joy for your mourning” (Isaiah 61).

3. God is the only perfect Father, our parents can be used to reflect God’s love for us, but even the most good intentioned parents miss the mark at times because they are only human and are bound to make mistakes sometimes.

4. Our parents need grace just as much as we do. God showers His love on us and even died for us while we were still in our trespasses. His love covers a multitude of sin. Lets extend the same grace to our parents and loved ones. Grace is favor that is undeserved and unmerited. Just as we’ve been given grace beyond our imperfections, let’s show that same favor to our parents through honor.

5. It’s not easy to be a parent. This doesn’t excuse any negative or abusive behavior from any parent, only to help us as children and possible future parents to have more compassion on our parents. Almost no parent purposes to hurt their children. The day their child is born they are ecstatic and filled with love for their child. As the difficulties of life come, demonstrating that love can become harder and harder, but the love is often always still there.

6. Ask for God’s heart for your parents. While we might only be able to see our parents through a lens of hurt, God sees our parents as His children. With the same love He has for us, He has for our parents. Ask Him to give Him His heart for your parents and to show you aspects you can honor in them. Honor begins in the heart, and only God can change our hearts. Ask him to begin a work in yours.

7. It will be a process. Every small step counts. It takes time to build and rebuild relationship but stay encouraged. The call just to say hello or ask for advice, the simple prayer for their life, the card on their birthday, the loving post on their Facebook wall…Every moment of honor is filling a cup of love in their hearts until it will be overflowing. And as you give honor it will be given back to you, “running over.”

We pray this article has inspired you to begin to honor your loved ones, even in difficult situations. Remember God wants to pour into you and doesn’t expect you to be able to honor without first remaining in Him.

He is pouring out His love, His forgiveness, and His grace on you today!

I encourage you to say this prayer with us:

“God thank You for Your unconditional love toward me.Your mercies are new every morning and Your grace is always abounding toward me. I receive Your love and honor and ask You to help me to honor my parents and loved ones today. You know how difficult this is for me, and I know you care about everything I feel and have gone through. I can only do this with Your strength, help me to remain in You. In Jesus name, Amen.”

Please feel free to share your stories of how you have been able to honor those who may have hurt you or how this post has encouraged you. We love hearing from you!


Healing a Hardened Heart

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.

It is very hard to honor our fathers, God, or anyone else when our hearts have been hardened.  But if you are reading this, allow me to encourage you- you must have a desire to forgive and be healed.

This topic reminds me of a Biblical character named Pharaoh.  The Bible says Pharaoh’s heart was hardened against God (the Father).  The missing element in Pharaoh’s life was honor.  

He failed to yield, to give respect, or to honor the God of the Israelites.  Pharaoh eventually gave honor tot he Lord, but it was at his own expense.

When our hearts become hardened due to life’s difficulty or pain, we must remember that honor is a choice.  We don’t have to remain forever calloused.

Multiple times in my own relationship with my father, the Lord has convicted me about three acts of love.  He has asked my hardened heart to express love as I forgive, confess, and restore.

I’ve had to forgive my father, confess that I was wrong for holding anger and resentment against my dad, and then make a commitment to restoring him back to his rightful place in my life.  This process has not always been easy, but in return for my obedience, I’ve seen my father travel for hours just to kneel at my feet, weeping words of godly sorrow.

It was through my place of humility that God brought healing, restoration, and the healthy relationship I desired.  He wants to do the same for each of us as we listen to His leading.

Multiple times in my own relationships ith my father, the Lord has convicted me about three acts of love: Forgiveness, Confession and Restoration. I know God can restore any one of our hearts to sweet gentleness and healing.

Multiple times in my own relationships ith my father, the Lord has convicted me about three acts of love: Forgiveness, Confession and Restoration. I know God can restore any one of our hearts to sweet gentleness and healing.

In fact, He promises to give us a softened, loving heart if we receive by faith, saying, “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26)

So go and be bold; don’t be afraid to exemplify love, because you will be glad you took a step of faith.  Even if your father (or others) do not respond the way you desire, you will be able to say you have obeyed a very important part of God’s Word, and your heavenly Father will always be there to carry you.

Let’s Practice This Truth Together:

That it may go well with you in the land the LORD your GOD is giving you.  (Deuteronomy 5:16)

Ask the Holy Spirit to prompt you with any needed areas of change in your life.  Ask Him:

  • Is my heart hardened?  Do I need more humility or a new heart from You?  Ezekiel 36:26
  • Is there any forgiveness that You want me to show to my father?
  • Is there anything that I need to confess to You or to my earthly father?  Search me, Lord, and know my heart…(Psalm 139:23)
  • Is there any restoration needed in my relationship with my father?

Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal the answers, and then make plans to live out anything He reveals.

Talk to others who don’t know Jesus about the transformational power of our heavenly Father.

I hope you had a Happy Father’s Day!

Here’s a pic of me and the hubby on daddy’s day this year.  This was a fun look I achieved through basics in my wardrobe and thrift store finds!


Get the Look:

Sleeveless Tank- JCPenney ($9.99), Old Navy, Cato ($7.99, many colors), The Limited ($24.90, classic colors, satin- great for dressy outfits).  The key to a dressier look is to buy “seamless” not “ribbed”

Red Flats- Nine West ($69.00)| Forever 21 ($9.99)| JCrew ($135)|Born ($44.51) I found these Talbot shoes for $7.99 at a thrift store!

A Line Midi Skirt- Macys ($24.99)| Zulily ($11.99)| Honor ($240)|Chicwish ($39.02)|ASOS ($40.00)

Purse- Kate Spade ($29.00)|Nordstrom ($33.98)| Humble Chic ($38.00) Really this is a Kate Spade eyeglass case that I used as a purse my dears

Pearl Necklace- JCrew ($26.00)|Banana Republic ($198)

Let’s be beautiful both inside and out with hearts ready to love from the deep place we have been embraced!  Have a sweet blessed week…


Saying Yes to God’s Forgiveness

By Paige Smith

It can be so difficult at times to shake off the heavy weight of condemnation and guilt after we’ve done something wrong.

Have you ever found yourself like the little child hiding from their parent after eating the forbidden cookies knowing there’s no way to cover up what they’ve done?

But imagine that parent finally finding the child, covered in crumbs and chocolate stains, so grateful to have found them and wrapping them in a warm hug, continuing on never once mentioning or even thinking about that missing cookie that had originally brought so much guilt and possibly even a stomach ache to the child.

As comical and endearing as that small example is, it also serves as a beautiful parallel to our relationship with our Heavenly Father when we mess up.

We make a mistake, sometimes smaller or larger in our minds than eating a cookie before dinner, and before we know it we find ourselves convinced God is angry with us and we separate ourselves from Him, anticipating His disappointment and even rejection.

Thankfully this perception couldn’t be farther from the truth!

Like the parent in the example above, God is always longing to be with us, to wrap us in His arms and His forgiveness is always available to us, no matter how deep or dark we feel the mistake we made is.

Psalm 103:12 says that “as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed out transgressions from us”.

God never wants to condemn us, but rather redeem us and forgive us.

We have a God that delights in showing us mercy and who throws our sins into the depths of the sea of forgetfulness! He keeps no record of our wrongs and instead showers us with grace and blessings.

God knows all and sees all we do but He chooses to forget our sins when we simply confess them to Him.

Many times the hardest person to extend forgiveness to can be ourselves but when we begin to truly encounter the loving and gracious character of God we begin to feel that weight of condemnation lift.

God’s word is an amazing place to start finding out more about Him and how He truly feels about you.

Here are 7 Incredible Scriptures on Gods Forgiveness that you can experience TODAY:

  1. “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more” (Isaiah 43:25)
  2. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9)
  3. “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18)
  4. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  5. “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7)
  6. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12)
  7. “Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy” (Micah 7:18-19)

Forgiveness can be difficult to receive when we try to rationalize it, because it doesn’t make sense. There is no payment or penalty we need to undergo because Jesus has already taken on the full penalty of our sins.

So rather than punishing ourselves for what God is longing to redeem us from, let’s receive God’s open embrace and forgiveness today.

Let’s say yes to Forgiveness!

We hope this article has encouraged you to say yes to God’s forgiveness and break free from the weight of condemnation! Please share any comments or questions you have on receiving forgiveness or overcoming condemnation. We love hearing from you!


A Father Who Is Always There for You

Father…when you hear that word what do you think, what image comes to mind?  Perhaps you instantly see a heroic figure, a strong loving protective man, or a kind, gentle compassionate presence.  Others of us may see nothing but an empty, loss presence.  Nothing is there but space and neglect.

Oftentimes the image we see of our earthly father is the same image we imagine when we see our heavenly Father.

And this can be problematic for obvious reasons.

I have a mixture of the two images.  I can remember as a little girl waiting to hear the sound of my father’s keys opening the front door of our miniature, three bedroom two bathroom starter home.  We lived in the ‘hood but I did not have a clue that’s where we lived because I always had a sense of shelter, of sweet protection.

It was home.

Walking outside, playing with my dog, with toys, with nature, running through the wooded lots surrounding us…there was not a care in the world.

And I was in private school with middle to upper class children, mostly very different from me, so there was a sense of safety, even at school.

My father would come home, at least in my mind, every day around the same time.  And when he would open the door I remember running up to him waiting for his embrace.  There was a sense of needing approval and attention.  Then he would swing me up in the air.

It was the moment of delight I longed for daily.

And I’m sure it filled his heart with joy just as much as mine.

This is a beautiful image of father.  Protector.  Friend.  Presence.  Supporter.  Guide.

But we probably all have at least one or two difficult memories of “father.”

Maybe there are days when he does not come home as expected, his countenance is disturbed, he is not the gentle friendly guy you need him to be and you are disappointed.

This is all so real in the heart of a small child.  In fact, it can be magnified.

Both experiences are valid and both are valuable schoolmasters when relating to our Heavenly Father.

What Can We Learn About “Father”?

That dad I described, fun, friendly, kind, playful is a mirror image of our Heavenly Daddy.

He is there, present when we need him, ready to give us sweet gifts.  He wants to give us the gift of His Presence, of joy, peace, patience, happiness, and forgiveness.

Believing in the fact that He will be consistent.  He will never come home in a disappointed manner, He is a safe, secure place to land our hearts.

We can Trust Him because of this unchanging stability.

And we can sit on His lap.  We can talk to Him about anything, our greatest joys, victories, anticipations…our strongest failures, needs and frustrations.

When we see that our Heavenly Father is not a mixture of good and bad, like we humans are…He is All Good, we are finally able to settle our hearts with His good leadership.

He is much like the Prodigal Son’s Father who is there for us no matter what, ready to pour out blessings on our lives.

When we expect him to be the most disappointed, He is not.  Instead, he gives us what we least expect, a huge celebration of the fact that we are Home!

He honors our presence.

We can encounter Jesus around this truth.

GOD Honors my presence.

We have to wonder how others will respond when we show up, but we do not ever have to wonder if our mistakes push GOD away from us, if they cause Him to reject, look down on, or judge us.  He is simply excited that you and I showed up for the party.

A New Way to Encounter Jesus

Have you every went into your prayer time only to feel a heap of guilt like a ton of bricks crashing down on your shoulders?  Then you want to just hide?  And it seems to come out of nowhere.

Am I right with God?  Is He angry with me?  Am I praying right?  I missed my prayer time yesterday.  I am not on my schedule.  I wonder if I’m under His judgment because I haven’t forgiven so and so.  I need to find the right Scripture to focus on.  I need to focus.  I need to spend more time in the Word and put on my Spiritual weapons.  Why am I not consistent?

Ugg…by this point prayer is exhausting.  Because pleasing Him is beyond me.  It is impossible.

I used to think this way all the time and my guess is, so have you.  It is human to base God’s satisfaction with us on who we are, our faulty mentalities about who He is and all the ways we think our prayer life should be.

Yet the reality is that we are way off in thinking God wants all that!  Sometimes he wants a few minutes of us simply accepting that it is okay to vent, to talk to him, to get it off our chest just as we would a friend.  And then to be ourselves, to not feel guilty for the way we prayer.

To stop comparing our prayer lives to others and to know that every little bit counts, is enough and is heard.

When we put down the show and just choose to be, we are starting to go in the right direction.

Let’s encounter Jesus around the Prodigal Son story.

“And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming.  Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20)

Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of the story of the prodigal son, but ask Him to refresh your experience of the Father in this well-known story.  Read Luke 15:11-32, where the son demands his inheritance, lives a life of foolish choices, and then out of complete desperation and regret returns home to his father. 

Notice the father’s response.  While the son was a long way off, the father saw him coming.  Imagine the scene of a father who sits on the front porch, scanning the horizon, looking for any sign of his son returning home.

You have a Father like that.  He can’t wait to be with you, can’t wait to run off the front porch and embrace you.

Pause for a moment and imagine the scene of the story, but this time, imagine Jesus running out to meet you.  He is filled with love and compassion.  He runs to you and embraces you because His heart is thrilled to call you His child.

What does it do to your heart to imagine a God who can’t wait to be with you?  Tell the Father about your gratitude:

Heavenly Father, when I imagine that You are scanning the horizon because You can’t wait to be with me, I feel…

When I imagine that You are running to meet me and embrace me with a heart of love and compassion, my heart is moved with gratitude because…

My father would come home and I was in so much anticipation to see him walk through the door, squealing with Joy!  But I hadn’t imagined that he was feeling the same about you.

Could the same be true of our Heavenly Father?  Filled with delight over the thought of seeing your face as He opens the door to meet you!

How has your perspective about your father changed over time?  Maybe you have a God Encounter you want to share to encourage others.  We would love to hear your story in the comments below!


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Honoring the Real GOD to Honor your father


Jesus, remind me often of the love You have for me as my heavenly Father.  Let my gratitude for how You love me empower me to strengthen and restore my relationship with my earthly father.

We each have personal images intricately tied to the tender yet powerful word father.  For some, the visualization of father is an always-smiling, ready-to-embrace-you, tender man who instantly promotes feelings of joy and acceptance.  Others remember the massive, outstretched hand that seemed to pull a never-ending supply of candy from his trouser pockets. 

There are also those who hear the word father and conjure up images of a scowling, rumpled brow and disappointed from that seemed to cut the heart of a child desperately longing for expressions of his approval.

And finally, there are others who may simply draw a blank when they try to visualize a father.  As empty as a fresh pack of computer paper, no matter how many pages they turn, the landscape is full of empty memories.  No calls, no visits, no talks with dad.

No matter what impression the word father has left upon our heart, we are reminded of its significant presence in the pages of Scripture.  We are lovingly exhorted to honor our Father in heaven and fathers on this earth (Deuteronomy 5:16).  But how do we honor our father?  This question is inevitable when one out of every three American children live in a home where their biological father is not present.


Some Ways Include:

~Take him out to dinner

~Thank him verbally for who is he, acknowledging his value

~Giving him a thoughtful Father’s Day gift

~Listening thoughtfully to his advice

~Speaking highly of him publicly

~Conversing in a respectful tone of voice

~Visit him often, give the gift of time

~Say “I love you” frequently

How to honor our father is a loaded question.  Therefore, we must venture back to ask, “Why should we honor our father?” before we can answer the first.  As Christians, we desire to live our life based on the truth of GOD’S Word.  The Bible is our standard and foundation.  When we wonder why we should honor our earthly fathers, we must first return to the Word of GOD and how it describes the perfect, admirable love of our heavenly Father.

Honoring the real God is the first step toward honoring our earthly fathers.  And honoring God is easy when we are freed from any vision of a harsh, “finger-pointing” God and begin to see a gentle, loving, Father. 

Our hearts are enamored by His unconditional love the more our knowledge of who He is increases.  The more we come to know the true character of our heavenly Father, the more freedom we have as we look at our earthly fathers.

LEARN to Encounter Jesus

“And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming.  Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20 NLT)

Ask the Holy Spirit to remind you of the story of the prodigal son, but ask Him to refresh your experience of the Father in this well-known story.  Read Luke 15:11-32, where the son demands his inheritance, lives a life of foolish choices, and then out of complete desperation and regret returns home to his father.  Notice the father’s response.  While the son was a long way off, the father saw him coming.  Imagine the scene of a father who sits on the front porch, scanning the horizon, looking for any sign of his son returning home.  You have a Father like that.  He can’t wait to be with you, can’t wait to run off the front porch and embrace you.  Pause for a moment and imagine the scene of the story, but this time, imagine Jesus running our to meet you.  He is filled with love and compassion.  He runs to you and embraces you because His heart is thrilled to call you His child.

What does it do to your heart to imagine a God who can’t wait to be with you?  Tell the Father about your gratitude:

Heavenly Father, when I imagine that You are scanning the horizon because You can’t wait to be with me I feel…

When I imagine that You are running to meet me and embrace me with a heart of love and compassion, my heart is moved with gratitude because…

Today’s Key Takeaway: No Matter What Your Background, you can receive a Fresh Perspective of GOD as a Loving Father.  This will help you embrace His desire for you to honor your father by honoring the Real GOD.

What other ways have you been able to honor your father?  Do you have a testimony or story to share that may bless someone else in the healing process? We can’t wait to hear your thoughts in the comments below!

From the book, Honor Your Father Reset My Family Legacy.  Order Your Copy as a Father’s Gift today!